Realizationism Art Blog

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Saturday, April 30, 2011

ILLUMINATION 018 ART JOURNAL

Lisa Schmidt Art Journal
The first time I encounter another person's art journal was during the The Art Camp that was around 2005. Whew! My memory is failing me now. How can an important event slip my mind. If I get it right, I think Elyona Jean was not yet around at that time so it could be earlier than 2005. So that's where Visual Journal steps in...hmmmm....I can record even the tiniest detail with the corresponding feeling attached into it. I can relive the exact moment with clear visions of the bygone past.
   Romina Diaz art journal during that summer camp re-affirmed that I am not alone on this venture. Whatever her purpose for creating an art journal which was filled with random notes or paragraphs from corner to corner it gave me a new push during that time that I was probably doing something right. 
   Now I saw another art journalist through the blog of Lisa Schmidt, a facebook friend. There I saw her collages of what she call "pretty little messes" where all the coincidences in her life are kept. I saw the same eagerness and passion plus the dedication to put all those stuff together into a collage of her own world. 
   Well, Okay my visual journals are too personal in nature that is why they are not often posted on display for public viewing. But maybe I will let you peek at some of the general patronage pages. 
   Now what would I say about the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate (a commoner). It is grandeur, extravagant and the most talk about wedding of the moment. After more or less 350 years of Monarchy, a commoner is marrying a Royal lineage (is there another?)...It is indeed uncommon...the royalty value their bloodlines. It is very important not just because of pedigree but something mind blowing to the uninitiated.  Will I divulge it? Maybe...later.
   At the moment, the world is still starstruck from the romantic mood so I will not stir that consciousness...another European stirring shall be held tomorrow. Was it timed? It seems so...they are not letting the commoner take a leave from the numbness. 
   Kate and William are lovely couple. An inspiring fairy tale coming to life.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

ILLUMINATION 017

If you see heaven on an earthly manner, then you can conclude that the false religion is giving us heaven on earth. With all the feast and fiesta dedicated to their patron saints...all the carnal revelries of directly blaspheming God creator by conducting procession...displaying idols on the street to bow down and worship...just how costly those motorcade and the fine linen dresses, the expensive flowers...oh no all merchants will mourn when this religion finally gets it judgment. I saw satan and the fallen angel going down with them. The commercial aspect of course makes this religion floats.
   I can laugh...
   I wonder what's the update with Japan situation now? I was stuck doing henna tattoo for the past days. I can create my own destiny.
   You step on to it and then watch the situation. Then dive. Bravely for the expecting souls in the palm of your hands...they will not make it on their own.
When was this picture taken anyway? Exactly. It really make me very very happy. Nostalgic. An old photograph that bring back bitter sweet memories of my collegiate life. The only thorn among the roses. I'm so thankful to Facebook that once again I was able to chat with my classmate.
Still it is not a popular choice...yes, but I must not faint. Must continue to preach the gospel. They hardentheir hearts even if I present facts. Lord help them...

Matthew 28:18-20
"And Jesus came up and spoke to them saying, 'All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.' And He said to them, 'Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. ...and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you: He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved; but He who has disbelieved shall be condemned. Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and rise again from the dead the third day; and that repentance for the forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in His name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem

Friday, April 22, 2011

ILLUMINATION 016 (Rice Shortage)

I just can't swallow this that despite The Philippines advancement and pioneering effort in rice technology we are still experiencing rice shortage. We are now the number one importer of rice in the world. Why is that?
  Other nations especially rice producing country come to the Philippines to study at International Rice Research Institute in Los Baños, Laguna province. Particularly Thailand the number one producer of rice in the world is also the number one exporter of rice for us, they learn the technology of high yielding rice variety here. I just don't get it that the teacher now rely to its student.
   Listening to farmers agony will lead you to the truth. Corruption. From fertilizer fund scam, farm to market access, irrigation system and even the body created to protect them (Department of Agriculture) are all contributor to their woes. This noon, my eyes get teary watching a TV program about the situation of Rice production here. Farmer are selling their lands to developers because they don't see bright future in this industry. The usual farmlands have turn into subdivisions, malls and golf courses or resorts.

   ON side note. A new variety of flood resistant rice, bred by the International Rice Research Institute (IRRI) "This will basically remove farmers in many parts of the world from being the victims of floods." IRRA now produce a new breed of rice that can hold its breath under water. 

   I remember what my father taught me, you don't use broom to clean rice that fell on the floor... pick it one by one with your bare hands. That's how you respect the food that gave you life. Now I have realized how much sacrifices our farmer gave, they literally shed sweat and blood so we can have food in our table .

Sunday, April 17, 2011

ILLUMINATION 015

  I have to visit some visual manuscript to get the feel...repairing some of the books with masking tape on the side because some of the pages are already loose.  Added some items...reviewing entries to re-evaluate the inner me, to see what have I done and have not done. Time will let it flow...it will continue to evolve according to my phase...according to the availability of time.
Junks are filing up...or what I prefer now to call as the accumulated experiences....
saw my phone cards collection too; and these bring certain joy. An achievement that I can call, inspite of my tentativeness in almost every area of my life.
  Everything shall be purge...what was left undone or discontinued means it doesn't mark that well. The stain easily remove. Maybe in the future then...what is in the future?
   I have to do other things too...the most important part actually aside from this isolation. Producing nothing to uplift my social rank. I can feel some chronic ailments I have acquired for being too artistic...artistically blocked. 
Drifting in nothingness--well, I still hold the faith of
this temporal...devoured by the pleasantries...
What will these sedated response lead?
The power will always rest to the one that hold your finances.
Come to my castle and meet my brave archers and cavalier. I can still shout to intimidate. Self-preservation. Even to this quest, I still see my innate self...the motivation to change desire regularly. The self. The Individual. My ownership. My sisters can't help me now...they have to shake me too. The little fisherman is still a boy and was created that way...chose to be that way. The phobia he had imagine that his steps will be ridiculed. Was he just tired of the systems?  
  The stone block my throat...the rock of truth. I have to learn to accept...
Those that pray among idols will just laugh...at my irrelevant statue. Only there...only here where they look up at me; enthroned by the greatness of my pulse. My very very beautiful mind. My lips...they love me...they hate me...they pitied me.

On gaming character Cosplay...I need to diverse the mood of my art...to stretch me a bit. I miss the comics industry here.

   Imagination only carve the mind...not yet a statement but just an air...to deceived. You had been eaten by the lies...and now that lie was the ultimate reality.
Risk your beliefs...in images done to give you a stance of holiness.
The hidden chapter.


Man, got to...extinguished the load thus planning to stay up till the cock crow. I will bravely delve into a new venture tomorrow. I must. I will. I am.
   Soon the poison will overtake me....the acids. Our flesh are created with limits...but life is a bit short to accomplish many. Do not let the devil change your mind in doing good...
   Will I be exempted? Be snatch before the tribulation....in other words "the beginning of sorrows" are now happening and by the boggling way, not so many people knew it...perhaps a little over 1%. Does it matter how many? God will decided who He want to be with for the rest of eternity.



Saturday, April 16, 2011

THE FUGITIVE POPE

   I was just wondering why Pope John Paul II apologized for the crime of the Catholic Church during the Inquisition but did not apologized for his own crime that killed million of Jews. 

Pope John Paul II: Zyklon B Salesman
    by TONY BUSHBYpopedead4.jpg

In his book 'Behold a Pale Horse,' former US Naval Intelligence Officer William Cooper relates a story associated with the IG Farben Chemical Company.

In the early 1940s, that company employed a Polish chemist and salesman who sold cyanide gas, Zyklon B and Malathion to the Nazis for extermination of groups of people in Auschwitz.

   After the war the salesman joined the Catholic church and was ordained a priest.

   In 1958 he became Poland's youngest bishop and after Pope John Paul I's mysterious death, the ex-cyanide gas salesman Karol Wojtyla was elected to the papacy as Pope John Paul II in October 1978.

   In March 2000, he publicly apologized not for his war effort, but for the wickedness of the Christian religion. The plea for forgiveness also sought to pardon the use of 'violence in the service of truth' an often used fragile and treoubling referenece to the Inquisition.

   The apology read by the Pope was the result of four years of work by a panel of 28 theologians and scholars and was by far the most sweeping act by a leader of a major religion.

   Man of God like Peter, Matthew, John and Paul were once sinners, and they are open in discussing their previous life...they HAD asked forgiveness to their sins. Even Judas Iscariot can't stand his betrayal of Jesus and was so guilty that he committed suicide...But look at this Pope ladies and gentlemen, he even tried to hide his real identity as a Nazi.
   Now read the following blog by Tony Alamo Ministries...
   After the thirty day reign and assassination of his predecessor, he assumed the papacy as Pope John Paul II 2 (the current pope, 1990) and now controls an organization in America, called the Jewish Federation and one of its many branches, the Cult Awareness Network which kidnaps and "deprograms" Christians and other victims. The Pope's Cult Awareness Network is a continuation of Hitler's "Ministry of Cults" 3 during World War II, designed to destroy Judaism, Christianity and other religions, other than Catholicism. Hitler and his entire staff, including the S.S. were all Catholics. Their desire - a world for Catholics only.Some of the pope's high ranking lieutenants (criminals also) have feigned friendship with several genuine Jewish organizations. The reason for this deception of the Jewish people is to further Catholicism and the Catholic one-world and united cult. Their purpose also is to foster hatred against Jews and true Christians in the world by creating dissension in the Jewish and Christian organizations that they infiltrate with their feigned flattery and promises of reward in hopes that the entire world population will rise up against all true Christians and Jews and ask for their destruction so that only Catholic Naziism remains. These satanic one-worlders have not stopped their desires for a one-world Catholic Nazi reign. Their propaganda machine (the news media) keeps exalting the "media pope" and his diabolical one-world church and UN, and keeps downgrading true Christians and Jews while the government agencies harass them with ridiculous, unconstitutional and trumped up litigation using criminals and paid liars to testify against the true fundamentalist Christian churches and other targets of theirs. It's hard to understand how Christians, Jewish rabbis or any true Jewish person could involve themselves with the Nazi Catholic hierarchy, which has provably destroyed millions of Christian and Jewish, people as well as many others. Rabbi Moshe Shonfeld states "From the day we were exiled from the Holy Land, the Catholic Church was worse to us than all the kings of the earth. All its steps on the stage of history were tracked with Jewish blood." The Rabbi also added, "The Catholic population in all the German occupied countries slaughtered Jews without pity, encouraged by their priests. They were all fanatical Catholics, and all had insatiable appetites for Jewish blood."  READ MORE

      Catholics should think more than twice before making this Anti-Christ as a saint. In fact, we believers as a true Christian already call ourselves as saints. We don't need canon law to be saint. Maybe what you Pagan Catholics would like to say is you want him to be an idol to be worship? Oh I see. Regards to your new saint.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

ILLUMINATION 014 (An Aquarist Passion)

One of my most joyful and unforgettable day as a child was when my mother first set-up an aquarium. I eagerly waited for her return when she announce that she's going to buy fish and put up an aquarium in our living room. My heart was leaping when I watch her fill the tank with fresh water and arrange decor of stones and laid white sands or hailstone, water pump and some plastic plants. When the gold fishes was finally put in, I remember fixing my eyes on the tank the whole day following them as they roam and gracefully swim...
   As I grow older and have a family of my own, I still carry that same passion on setting-up a fish tank. I can proudly say I have already acquired the skill in maintaining a good healthy community of fish...I once dream of owning a pet shop too having years of hands-on experience with enclosed aquatic creatures. I can also identify different individual among group of fish even if they all look the same to others. I remember I felt so bad and cried inside when the first gold fish I purchased died, an consider it as a traumatic experience that I become extra careful in handling my fish tank.
   I can identify almost any decor fish in the market from gold fish to pleco and from guppies to arowana. My special interest was on cichlids (includes Tilapia) Cichlids (play /ˈsɪklɪd/) are fish from the family Cichlidae in the order Perciformes. Cichlids are members of a group known as the Labroidei along with the wrasses Labridae, damselfish Pomacentridae, and surfperches Embiotocidae.[1] This family is both large and diverse. At least 1,300 species have been scientifically described,[2] making it one of the largest vertebrate families. New species are discovered annually, and many species remain undescribed. The actual number of species is therefore unknown, with estimates varying between 1,300 and 3,000.[3]
   Cichlids are to me among the most beautiful and intelligent fish...they took care of their babies and can recognized its owner. Oh yes, base on my experience with owning  some kinds of cichlids like Oscar, Green Terror, Angel Fish, parrots, auratus, red convict, flower horns etcetera, I've notice them behaving differently when other people are around and they allow my hands to touch them. They are a very nasty creature too...they can give you an electifying bite if you dip your finger on the water being highly territorial.
   The amazing thing about cichlids are that they took care of their young....swallowing them inside their mouth when there is danger nearby. Something that still baffle me why they are not pump inside their intestine.

Kingdom:Animalia
Phylum:Chordata
Class:Actinopterygii
Order:Perciformes
Suborder:Labroidei
Family:Cichlidae

   I used to own 4 to 6 aquariums and even imagine myself as a marine biologist. An ambition I have made when I was a little boy aside from being a painter. Fish are also among my favorite subject on my art works. Maybe in the afterlife I will have that capacity to stay forever underwater...watching school of fish play among the corals. 
  Oh well here's an illumination...maybe every now and then I'll give you some info and pictures of fishes. Maybe I can share my experiences too having vast years of experience as an aquarist.
    

Monday, April 11, 2011

Taal Volcano on the Verge of Erupting

Yesterday, Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology or (Phivolcs) warned residents’ living near the Taal Volcano to be ready and observant for it is getting restive and there is a possibility to erupt anytime.


MANILA, Philippines – The Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Phivolcs) on Saturday raised Alert Level 2 over Taal Volcano as it expressed fear of another eruption because of the rising of magma and increased seismic activity.
   “With this alert status, the present activities could eventually lead to an eruption,” Phivolcs said.
   “In view of the observations at Taal Volcano and the interpretation that magma has been intruding toward the surface, as manifested by carbon dioxide being released in its main crater and increase in seismic activity, the volcano’s status is now raised to Alert Level 2,” Phivolcs said in its bulletin issued on Saturday.
Several parameters monitored by Phivolcs have shown that there were significant changes in Taal Volcano’s activity the past week.
   Phivolcs observed that seismic activity at Taal Volcano “continues to worsen” as the number of volcanic earthquakes gradually increased and its depths became shallow.
Likewise, the number of earthquakes felt around the volcano has increased, with intensities that ranged from 2 to 3 and one of them was accompanied by rumbling sounds... (source: mb.com.ph)

 
The eruption of Taal Volcano in the Philippines in 1966 ripped open this channel and built this 300-meter diameter tuff cone on the flank of Volcano Island in just two days. Warned by increasing seismicity and the rising temperature of a small crater lake, many inhabitants of the island evacuated and escaped the deadly pyroclastic surges. About 200 people were killed by the eruption, mainly by tsunamis on Lake Taal, the large caldera lake that surrounds the island.
                                                                                                                                                      Photo copyright R.W. Decker


Sunday, April 10, 2011

ILLUMINATION 013 (Sketches)

 Just a little more push and I'm getting the beat back again...if I attached that title of a Visual Artist with my name I should at least be creating an artwork. These are not those art where I was push to do because of material gain like face painting. I have to make it clear that there are certain high I get too with face painting during parties but when I invoke an art work per se I am speaking of the vocation I have often wanted to spread thru my Visual Manuscript and symbolical pieces.
   Yesterday I begun with a quick sketch...the usual portraiture to regain the void. You'll see here on your top right using colored-pencil. Then this morning still charged with the energy I grab the same sketch pad and head to paint...trying with a quick stroke in watercolor, it failed to boost me and so I set it aside. On my 3rd attempt finally I had it before I get to sign the next work...still with energy to spare I have the last piece for the day...
   Just a couple of years ago i started to acquire these style of sketch--dipping any color as long as it is on the parallel color specs; these are not just random picking of tone but thinking ahead of the after effect it will cast. The style are now playful and easy going, unlike my careful and calculated stroke before...which perhaps have evolve from many aspect; one of which is my aging vision. Can't read anymore without glasses on and the limited time or resources I have to deal with. The poor quality of the camera phone does not give the real value of what is seen by the naked eye.   

   Fixing the loose leaves of my visual journal worn by years of used...I have to prepare all of these for the treasure I will leave to my children. Does it value anything at all? Hopefully it will...and it must, at least for the effort given to them. It barely pass the antiquity test, of what? Maybe a classic art in contemporary nature...of about 30 years spend in this type of art expression and preservation. By the mere fact that every detail, tiny details are not just stamp on plain paper but had nostalgic references too.
   The same incapacity to focus on a singular line had me leap from one project to another or just randomly touch one area and then left it to the mercy of the future for completion. Calling it my weakness for having too much idea flowing on my brain. I bounce from being a scientist to a writer and then take refuge on my art when all seems going nowhere. 
   The mirror reflections of my sketches, its attitude reveals a certain aspect of my self. All the hope and dreams of a visionary. Now, I have 7 working manuscript at the mercy of the creative juice I can not tell when to burst...I don't want to be too heavy on my self. I just have to look back and realized that, Oh well time had elapse and behold I have thread the road only few are willing to travel. Maybe my eyes are straining me now...but still i can see my last scene as a painter.


  

Friday, April 8, 2011

The Music of U2 and the 80's

   My friend (madam) Andrea V. Lisi called my attention last night about the music of U2 posted on her Facebook wall, that I eventually check....trying to comprehend her Spanish comment with the little Spanish I know having attended 4 semester of it during college...I could sense her great love with this group especially to its lead vocal Bono. Sorry Andrea, I did not take to heart my Spanish lessons but I truly can feel your passion to the band great music.
   This is how she put it in English on Tagged shout-out:
 ops, I wanted to writte in "U2"CONCERT!!!!!!.....MANY EMOTIONS....MANY EMOTIONS..NO WORDS FOR DISCRIVE IT......"U2", I'LL SEE U AGAIN......PLZ!!!!!COME BACK SOON!!!! FHER U COULD SEE I PUT IN MY FCBOOK "ONE " BUT IN SPANISH.....I WANT TO SEND U INVITATION FOR JOIN IT TOO. KISSES A LOT, MY SWEET FRIEND, ANDREA"
   Well, U2 reminds me of a friend in College, his name is Aniano and he breath and live according to the music and style of the music group. I remember I have to give him my U2 tote bag one day...details on how he convince me to give-in I could no longer recall but what I knew most about U2 and their music  from him.
   I'm a kind of person who focus on the work and not on the artist, so I can say I'm not a fan of U2 but I have a particular music from them that I really really like; the song is "With or Without You" that I still sing during karaoke session and one of the very few songs that can still make me pause and stop whatever I'm doing. I'm not sure if the groups are devout Christians but that particular song had Christian message about the death and sacrifice of Jesus...that is how I heard the song "On a bed of nail he looks my way...and you give yourself away..." 
   Aniano told me they are Christians and sometimes sang in that note, like the title of their album and song The Joshua Tree. And then There's another great song Pride (In The Name of Love);...whatever, they are one of the best in the industry.
   I belong to the New Wave and Punk music generations, having my teen spend on than rhythm and beat. The 80's have a distinct beat and sounds with drums usually on easy tempo and not much of those rolling and loudness of Rock and Roll. The 80's introduce the synthesiser disfiguring the voices of singers in futurist tone. I like the distinction though of New Wave amidst the rise of Heavy Metal...well, I like some heavy metal songs too during that time but are selected few.
   New Wave should have been classified by now and I am not in the position to do that. Music of Tears for Fears, Toni Basil, Bangles, Gogos, Wham, and my favorite Depeche Mode are among the traffic of air waves on that era. Music of 80's shows fusion of many experimental instruments and dance craze. We had the break dance and strut that evolve now into hip-hop and isolation. 
   I remember as the President of Lakandula Street Dancer we have to carry our cassettes and linoleum (dance floor) to go into showdowns. Many of my friends don't know this but I have work as dancer in clubs too... Hahahaha..I can't imagine myself now doing some bone breaking stunts and struts like a serpent. The 80's had many good love songs too but it was the dancing music that mark to me most. The fashion too became more locale...meaning the fashion came from the people and not via Armani, Gucci or D & C. You'll see boys wearing eyeliner, chains and dog-collar having studs worn by young boys and girls, mix-matching of colors came from Benetton for the more elite class while the usual black and white for the masses. There was no distinction though except bright neon colors tend to be on the happier class while the anarchy sector prefer gothic. More personalized shirts done in spray paint. For the first time safety pin became a part of decorations not hidden under ones pants. There are extreme tight pants or very loose trouser both have some difficulty wearing...you know what I mean.
   During the 80's they enthrone Michael Jackson as King of Pop and Madonna the queen. Oh I have to mention Cindy Lauper who gave us the new kind of ear in her galactic type high-pitch voice. Braver music for girls  with "Material Girl" and "Girls just want to have fun" and for boys acceptance of frailty like "Boys do fall in love"...or its counterpart "Boys Dont Cry" but the message is that of acceptance of weakness too.
  Now back to the Irish band U2, I am making a write-ups for a dear friend Madam Andrea, she doesn't want to be called madam but I add that prefix to someone I respect. It doesn't mean you are older Andrea but because I consider you as a master. So for you and to those who belong to the 80's here's a video of U2 with my favorite song...

  
   Song also goes out to fellow L.S.Dancer...especially to Pogi and Erick who now belongs in Heaven.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Childhood


   My earliest exposure as a kid were art works from my father...sort of dadaism and surrealism with images juxtaposes beyond conventional style. As a photographer by profession, I remember he put my photo inside the tigers mouth...and added fairytale characters in a surreal landscape. Though none of those works exist anymore...they are still very much alive in my mind. A long lost past...somehow, in a sudden recollection, just this instance...my childhood memories are saved in fragment.
   I usually would get into trouble doing artworks. My mother does not allowed me doing something I love...that is to paint. I have to hide making drawings...of images that haunt me. Characters that in my simple mind became my imaginary friends. Faces found on printed materials are favorite subject too. 
   One day, while cleaning the house, my mother discovered my drawings under my bed and secret collections kept from a compartment inside a wall...I sense the fear when I saw her fierce look...and instantly I sob...she grab my hands while swearing and started to hit me...my arms, legs, body...anywhere, pulling my hand my she laid it on the table and threathen to smash it, reach for a hammer and started pounding my hand...once...twice...I broke into tears without sound. The pain was so excruciating, my eyes blurred until darkness enveloped my vision...
   I heard my father shouting...there were scuffled arguments...my tears streaming all over my cheeks drowsing my vision...the crippling pain from my palms...tiny fingers jittering. 
   I don't recall how I get into my bed but found my head sobbing on the pillow. Hide me please...let me escape...this are not real...I still could hear my parents yelling.
   I fell asleep. There was a dream...a fearful sight I have chosen to delete in my memory. Phantom images in gothic strokes...pale and smoldering
   Awaken, I saw the sunset casting mauve lights...fading and melacholic. I felt numbness on my hands. Slowly I walk to the window...saw the garbage box...dig my hand in it...and there I saw my half-burned artworks...
    
  

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

ILLUMINATION 012

   Drafting some blogs kept me busy...staying awake during the night till dawn. There are some serious issues needed to be shared. It seems having too much to offer make you accomplish lesser. Some of the things I've started remain unfinished and it appears I have created a vision larger than my capacities. I can't remember the last art work that I did which is also another neglected area in my life. Yes, I need to attend my family domestic affairs too...all my chosen field seems draining now...very few care to listen or even bother to notice.
   At least you did your part, the voice whispered. Psyching my brain are browsers game...away from reality for awhile....commanding vast armies in Terra Militaris, venturing the outer-space in Galaxy On-Line, and I wonder what happen to my businesses in CityVille.
   There are some eye-opener being stirred on my consciousness these past days. Whatever I've piled up are now getting its roots...I must call upon my Saviour. A great big miracle must come to rescue me. How special I am to be redeemed on this situations? I have been many times covered with the saving grace of God.
   Clearing my fish tank with filth have to symbolized something...an act...just to make sure I am still aligned with the universe. It requires some physical effort too so I am touching another idle area...computing ache my tendons for long hours of stationary activities. A feature done by Tipong Pinoy about Comics industry in the Philippines brought me to mix-emotions of bygone years...I could have explore on it more. BUT I remain at the mercy of self-gratifications...remaining at the mercy of others...drifting where the tides carried me. I have not valued things that should comes first. The fish at least scan the viccinity to survive. I played languid and begging for mercy.
   The fruits of those stolen nights in the arms of prostitution...scraping my flesh till I can't recognized the beauty of real paradise. I traveled the wide open spaces...the breeze in tempo with cheerful notes...darkness soothing the bruises that I have inflicted on my own. The smell of nicotine and cheap perfume engulped me...pardon me my child if I have led you to my own weaknesses. You wish for a few dime I could not give. The tendencies to spoil was there to patch something I have lacked. O where are the writers of the Morality boasting at the sights of thousands.
   The similarity of these nights have covered the past I have long escaped. The same dream...of a different tone where my own reflections seen with her schemes I have long adopted, the vile taste I have learn to appreciate...even in tears...of a broken and contrite heart.
   A hostage drama somewhere in Agusan, not sure...have to read the issue...or does it matter? An urgent matter.
   I feel like drowning...my breath out of pace. Calmness in this hour...O I beg.