While Typhoon Pedring continue in devastating the whole Philippine archipelago specially Luzon being hit the hardest like Bulacan, CAMANAVA, Aurora, Benguet, and even NCR (29 Provinces was said to be badly hurt even down south like Cotabato). I sink inside my make-shift studio…not to create an artwork but to re-collect my thoughts.
I am thankful that Laguna was not badly hit, and yet sad to watching the enormous damage Pedring left in its aftermath. Actually, up to now, some are still on the process of recuperating and still threaten by more flooding since some dam are continuously releasing water it can’t hold.
In my silence mode, I randomly pick one of my journals. It was so appropriate because what I pulled out covers the time after the workshop and that was 1985-87. That period was my self-searching period too. On its pages I found many trials and error, my undying hope being so inspired and still intact with advocacy. Here, I’ve realized how I put all effort to work on artistic directions instead of planning for a career as a Teacher.
The said diary – which I called as The Fisher inscribes some painful letters, and even poetry that came naturally after an artwork or in the artwork itself. Mostly written in Filipino and in manner where environmental influence of PNC poets and friends. I owe a great deal of my worldview and paradigm from PNC-Philippine Normal College (now PNU being a University) and I think I will have a hard time erasing any of those influences which are anyways, positive.
I also found a chapter I label as Summary of Progress at page 54 onwards…it talks about the chronicle of my artistic directions. From being purely a realist doing still-life and genre theme; having worked also on historical and biblical subjects, while indulging most of the time on portraits. Until I take a big leap into becoming a surrealist.
There from rendering surreal attitude, I fuse my work with “tear-out” method…this technique I accidentally discover around 1986 where in I literally put manual writing on my work with collages and some sort of illusions style. These techniques that I pioneered thus become my own insignia or signature piece.
Reading thru its pages makes me in admiration with my own skill and dedications. I mean I was so prolific then that I can produce an average of 3 paintings a day. This coincides too with some of my novel best years. I was still full of hope then and seem to be loaded with ideas that I can transform my experiences into images. That dedication was long gone.
There are Names and places that come and go without even saying goodbye. They changed before my very eyes… even if I tried to hold it tight; we must learn to accept the fact that life is a constant change. We meet those people along the way; only to learn from them…and then after their role was played they have to leave—to live their own lives.
The rain had stopped…