Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Reinventing Myself, an echo of self-portrait

Adapt or perish.  
The future is here...and I am somewhat caught in the middle. I think I can not actually call my thinking liberal or conservative. Sometimes I can't really define my self. I sometimes held the positions of extremist and then at one instance I became passive. 
   Who can be optimistic when you see so much chaos around you? Although as much as I can with my kids, I inculcate to them the power of positive thinking. How you can alter your future by affirming what you desire. They are too young to get frustrated about the real issues of life...they can face reality in their own phase.


   Have I wasted my youth? Looking back now, I think I have lost interest to some of my dreams. Some major goals and advocacy still functions and my values are still hanging in my heart...I like to believe they still stand firm.  
   
   I still paint! I still share gospel every now and then...so perhaps, I still function according to My Creator's intent. 
   I had given the task to my children to continue the legacy even if I'm gone...
   


    I totally dump the idea of publishing my novel one day. I can't even finish the story that had been hanging on my head for 20 years now. It has undergone forging for many years and I feel, it is not yet ready...to go out there...or actually, the world is not yet ready for them...


They live in symbols. They worship idols...They worship themselves. 


The Self-Portraits
   This self-portrait below was done during my very intense campaign to preach in color. Now, an old flame almost fading, flickering...



This next painting came out after a nagging dream...a past, that was so painful to even re-told. The dream was a re-assurance from my genetic father and from Our heavenly Father. This too bare a half-faced man that many have not yet fully understood.



Now, the latest reflection of my self. This is not how the world see me but how I see myself. His eyes are now close, the other part are still in the shadows...


Heed! As much as I can trying to separate my blogs depending on categories that I have set from the onset, I still cross boundaries where things should be properly recorded. The original intent for swirling inside the blog universe was simply to promote The Art of Realizationism, and that was March of 2009. The beginning was an impulse and less serious anecdotal...wherein I tried to simply repeat what are on my earlier visual manuscripts. That too have to undergo re-construction...
   Lately, after some dead serious re-thinking, and trying to keep up with the infowars available by the millions and minions, I have to re-invent ways to reach the public. 


   Life, as we know it...is only half truth. 

2 comments:

Manisha Bhatia said...

Fher you know I am very impatient n very few things and people can engross me n I always get engrossed wen I come across something from you coz often no matter how much romantic poetry and other stuffs I write, I draw ,at the end of day realistic stuff of life pulls me n I cant get away with it etall. N so r ur writings to me...REALISTIC!!
Novel as u told 20 years...I wanna say here that sometimes we r more influenced by wt world s doing n try to invest our energy there n wen we cnt complete it we get irritated and frustrated.

Art of Realization is a good thing which has happened to many of us and as a friend I will suggest you put all your energies as well as your heart to it. I am there and will always be because I believe in your art from my heart.

There are numerous ways and I know you can do it, so Fher JUST DO IT!!!

My support will always be there.

Love
Mani

Fhermission said...

Oh Mani...you are so sweet! For you I will try...again to bring back the energy to write.
Thanks for your kind words and encouragement.

I remain,
Fher