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Sunday, August 5, 2012

Fraternity and The Need to Belong


The alarm has never been so real to me now that I have a 13 year old son. Recently, another hazing victim from a prestigious College surfaces in the News just a couple of days ago...this bothers me, how can I, as a parent ensure that my son would not suffer similar fate?

The question is why would a person desire to join a fraternity?
Is joining a brotherhood or sisterhood necessary?

   I was in High school when I first heard about Fraternity and Sorority stuff. Back then, I was amazed, well in fact admire these boys and girls who would endure pain (even hazing) to prove their loyalty within an organization. Honestly I also did contemplate to join a fraternity which I had preferred to call a brotherhood...but I was strictly forewarn by my parents. They told me that I would get the double portion of the beating if ever I join, so I did not. 

THE PEER PRESSURES
   I was lucky that my peers, who were fraternity boys and sorority girls themselves, did not pressure me to be "in" the crowd. You see, most teenage boys and girls feels they would get their much needed attention if they belong in a fraternity. It's like a sense of security for them, and the promise of not being "bullied" by others if they knew you had back-ups, especially with the senior students. Aside from that, other minor benefits like meeting whose who in the campus and to be recognized as well. After all, Conformity is a very dangerous thing.

THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
    Fratmen says initiation is administered to prove that you are man enough to withstand extreme pain and as an assurance of loyalty. Well even back then, to me that's the silliest reason I heard from some of my classmates why they joined fraternity. I also don't see any reason to be hit by someone whom I did nothing wrong nor I would surrender respect to someone that way. Respect are earned and never asked. I would never call someone a "Master" who had not proven anything at all except beating his brothers.   
   Anyway, I never felt the need to belong back then...as a matter of fact, I shy away from too much attention as an artist, it could mean being robbed from my talent for my classmates  art projects (smiles). Anyway, that was unavoidable if you are gifted...as I was saying, discovering my worth as a person spare me away from the black and blue. 
   I've just realized that we should aid our children to discover their self-worth. Now, I became more sensitive to the voice of my children...I listen to all their inquiry no matter how silly they are...everything matters to them, especially during their growing years.  

Dare to be Different 
    Don't listen to them, even if they call you coward and kill-joy.
   I always told them it's cool to be nice! I always dare them to be different. Different in what? To stick to what is proper and true. I told them that real courage are not measure in opposing rules and laws. Keeping dignity is real courage.
    A person with dignity had more friend than Fraternity members.
   It takes real courage to avoid drifting within the flow. Experience told me that young people are rather foolish. I was once that foolish too...but now, I rather be called coward than foolish. Regrets does not start in the beginning.

    This is what the LORD says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, 'We will not walk in it.' -- Jeremiah 6:16


Join That Which is Good 
     There are other organizations out there that does not require its member to pass "test" or beat initiates to be accepted inside there circles of friends. Parents should help their children discover their skills and interest. Help them decides...even in selections of friends.
   Many dreams had been crushed before...this time Another brilliant Law student is wasted due to this barbaric act. How many more? 
   I am sure there are still other unaccounted victims that we have not heard of. This will continue to go on and on, if we parents wont act...




   The above picture is that of Mark Andrei Marcos, a San Beda Law student, the latest hazing victims (Read further detail Here)










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