The question now is my ability to battle my own self. The competition is not about others and have realized that my greatest opponent is myself.
So besides all other purposes, sometimes, well, most of the time actually is that my visual manuscripts often echo these fights...or struggle.
Have I done enough to be really be accepted within the circle? Following mandate, rules, and accepted human facts isn't much of my forte in terms of art. I am too lazy to go linear.
It should have been more financially liberating if I obey the systems. Only if I painted more instead of unleashing my thoughts and feelings.
But my visual manuscripts are life force--a support system that enables me to reflect and breath within. A rest from weariness. Maybe you may not understand but these so called waste of energies are my treasure.
I have very rare individual piece...which is by the way may be subjected to change too. So those who own my work, they are rare treasure indeed and count yourself lucky.
Here I am dictated by choices...I'm still fortunate because most people doesn't have much of the choice.
I am once again running away from the circle of which I am already in. I can not caste myself in a system...or sets of dimension. I am free...