(written in 2009)
Her eyes betrayed the smile she bestows at my direction. Earlier those smiles were the most enchanting image I had seen these past days. The past days had been hard for her…even harder for me but I should be ashamed. We knew from the very beginning that this have to happen…it must…
No matter what justification I have tried convincing heaven and earth this was all wrong. We have hurt so many people along the way. I remember so well the very first time we took our rendezvous…the sun was bright but her face was even brighter. Those dazzling eyes glimmers like gemstones and her radiant face elate even within a crowd.
The nights and each day that follow after that have been defined as love…but borne from cruelties and deceptions…unfaithfulness.
This night she embraces me…clawed her bare hands tightly than ever before as if she would fall if she let go. Those valiant yet tender kisses were throbbing; sweet kisses that suddenly brought fear in manner I can not differ. It was there all along imminent as our sweat mingled till we collapse as two separate soul satisfied by hunger…then I saw those hidden tears forming…not visible but I just knew it was there.
Oh, No I don’t want to hear these.
Yet those words came like a distant echo drowned by my own heartbeat. The jargons of an alien reality…
“This must end.” She said and instantly those tears can’t hold its place anymore. Her beautiful brown eyes fixed at mine. But now, those same beautiful eyes are now piercing…beating every part of my whole being.
I don’t know why no words came out from my lips. All I could hear are my own breathing and even if I rebuke my heart to stay numb it aches. It aches so much I stopped struggling. I hated my silence…
Perhaps, if only I had opened my mouth while those tears descend down my fingers; it would have held her back just like before. She will succumb again in my arms…like the many times we both tried to let go…
“But it would be unfair!” She demanded from me as if she is even trying to convince herself. I beg the scenes to roll back…just for once.
But time stood still. There were no flickering lights but just emptiness and blurry shadows.
Quietly she sat beside me…feeling the oneness of each other heartbeat…pulsating images marred by reality. She avoids my eyes as I tried to search them cupping her chin.
I felt a growing lump on my throat as the distance slowly widen…I watch her make uneasy steps; I thought I would not be able to say it… This could not be happening…I hate saying goodbye.
“Goodbye.”
She turns…hesitate a bit and gave me that sweet familiar smile.
“Goodbye.”
She turns…hesitate a bit and gave me that sweet familiar smile.
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