ILLUMINATION 026 Asking for air

It's hard to embrace too many things....if eternity is only mine. Although I have touch almost everything that my limited time could nibble I feel there are neglected areas. Am I achieving anything at all...or maybe at least a couple of tombstone to put on my grave? 
   I think I will be accused of promising too much...even for myself alone. 

   Just let your heart flow and do not be to hard on yourself. They knew how sincere you are in uniting the artist soul in them. I can not do it alone.   One of my difficulty, my greatest challenge is to focus. I had so much to offer...to give for myself. 
   Season's have past, and the dusk settling on my capacity to see things vivid, it is perhaps the last attempt I could manage to pour. Do not want these gifts to wasted. I had force myself...even sacrifice most of dear time against my family. They will understand that I was born to die for others. 

ILLUMINATION 025 After Image Migration

As if my tendons were being pulled and twisted until its elasticity have reach the very extent. Memory seems at a distant...similar to air filling an empty gap....comprehension at minus degree than normal retention. 

   Still with so many things filed to be done....unpacking and arranging things almost eternal. I can't even reach my back without hurting my joints. Migration was not an easy process yet this time, comparing to other movement there is a light of a glimmering joy in these...I have associated certain phase with burden as per record of the past but this time the move; In spite of the more tedious process of using only cart and pedicab to move to and fro....I am certain of a path more blessed. 

   Nice quite place at night as I can hear only the courtship of crickets....none of those buzzing vehicle speeding outside. I can hear my own breathing. Different species of flora scattered the yard...and it gave me a smile to see an Atis tree bearing fruit nearby; a sampaguita tree with little fragrant bud; banana tree in groups; the ever helpful malunggay, coconut, bell pepper, and many more....
   4th night and still not fully over with renovating, scrubbing, sweeping, washing, and tons much more of energy needed. My work area is almost over....just a couple of boxes to open. In fact, I was able to face the on process picture in After Image. There's still no good lighting so I can't share with you images of the present atmosphere. 
   My aching legs is already a burden after long hours of standing and walking....not even hours but just couple of minutes. There are some burning blister down my sole and it could be callouses. One important concern is the internet signal on this area,,,,


      

Looking and ever looking

  Yes, we often skip the real looking part and assume that what our brain had process was what we really saw. Part of Realizationism is the art of looking...seeing things with significance and value. To understand further you can read The Secret Art of Looking, the blog will help you through the process of real looking, aside from very helpful for artist this blog will help you enjoy the beauty of the world in its tiniest detail. 

   Common sense is enough genius...although there are some difficulties in finding plausible reasons from Spiritual phenomenon I always look ways to expound the links through scientific inquiries, may be some are not explainable at this time but I always believe God is a reasonable God. 

   Leading your eyes to often neglected or overlooked images are important and fundamentals to Realizationism. Once you have form the habit of looking...it will be easier for you to achieved Realization and understanding the relationship of all things from the micro level to  picture as a whole.

   When we learn, teach.

   When we get, give.   -- Maya Angelou

   The process of painting must flow smoothly and enjoyable...if the brushstrokes are too stiff or there is a very conscious effort it is not natural and less enjoyable. 

The Altered Mind

Great that I have made a new day more meaningful that just follow the call of weakness....I slept the whole afternoon and was so consumed after I have cleaned the new house we shall move in, probably by the end of this month. A fever is creeping in once again...still having some stroke of sleepiness but I have to move...Must move. After I have prepared the food for dinner I immediately grab After Image, and see if I can continue doing the hanging work that I tentatively called on my notebook as "Without Hats" a self-portrait. 

   There was a little struggle for me to make it a separate individual piece. This was supposedly the 3rd page to place some of my bio.... until I found a realization while doing it and partially taking my inspiration from Van Gogh. 

   What role have I played in front of a crowd and the real me alone in my studio. This is my first inter-active piece have it posted step by step at Tagged ArtLover Group and show some painting technique I used. It is a mixture of watercolor, poster paint and acrylic...plus of course my signature style of pasting collages as well as directly writing....

   Hand over the head, well it is literal...need explain more? it is a self evaluation with tears for sensitiveness...on issues at the present moment. I believe with you be sensitive as an artist to understand what other feels but not too sensitive when it comes to criticism....the pasted item are place there to represent ideas or words needed to be shared....Wait even if I am giving explanation here, this work must be inter-personal which mean can be access by another individual through their own understanding...when you look at it, I wish that you see also your own self-portrait.

   The piece is done and when I have step back, I have a second thought, perhaps it is not yet over....

   I looked at After Image, the 8th Visual Journal and saw that I have easily evolved overnight....plucked the pages and start a new one. 

Related Post: After Image, revision

ILLUMINATION 024 Eulogy and Van Gogh

   You can not give what you don't have. 
   Asking for respect is useless waste of energy...and that was a simple philosophy that I am trying to inculcate on all aspect of my senses. I have to gain that respect, as sincere as possible...people will distinguish insincerity and all efforts are again without effect. Conscious effort and yet being not mechanical or it would be like a classroom project expecting a high mark. What we all want are a well lived life...a good eulogy for our funeral.

After Image, leaf 3...my own working hand

   There are lots of things I hope for to naturally flow on daily cycle, and one of these are freedom and to peacefully work with my hands. Everything must reflect on my art works and in fact, in all areas...when goodness was deeply carved it will eventually shine on all known surfaces. 
   When I came to know Van Gogh during my self-searching period circa1985-87, I had admire the artist first more than his artworks. Later, as I move to follow his biography, which was quite difficult during that time with little resources...I can only browse at some of his famous work like the sunflower series, I have realized the depth and level of difficulty of his painting styles and from then on I became one of his avid fan. I even wanted the song "Vincent" by Don MacLean as my burial song.
   

About a year before his death Van Gogh predicted that there would be a great “painter of the future” who would know how to use color like no one else and would become the future of painting. He expressed this in a letter to his brother Theo in May of 1888,

“As for me, I shall go on working, and here and there something of my work will prove of lasting value - but who will there be to achieve for figure painting what Claude Monet has achieved for landscape? However, you must feel, as I do, that someone like that is on the way - Rodin? - he does not use colour - it won't be him. But the painter of the future will be a colourist the like of which has never yet been seen.

Hypergraphia is a condition causing one to need to write continuously; this disorder is commonly linked to mania and epilepsy. Some believe that the massive collection of over 800 letters Van Gogh wrote during his lifetime could be attributed to this condition.

   I am into researching the life and times of Vincent Van Gogh..probably be able to write a blog about one of the greatest artist.

ILLUMINATION 023 (After Image new episode)

The energy still lingers from last night, ah no from this morning creation of After Image. Sleeping only after realizing the sun was up....it would take great amount of control not to burst after hearing your wife making noises as early as 7 AM. 

    I let human nature control me and refuse the reasoning of a divine intervention. 

Mari Sterling Wilbur photo

   I can not go back to bed anymore. The sun was up and I have to attend the 2nd service. There are a lot to be thankful for and I have to offer it back to God.

   Open facebook and see all the updates, promote my blogs, make comment and give some like....and likes.
   Some images are retain and others better forgotten. All depending on personal preferences we scrutinized the data given to us until we no longer hold the faith on our own morale. People change...and that is constant. 
   Strike the iron while its hot...keep it on...the fire shall ever be burning upon the altar. Good that I have 3 face painting schedule for this week alone...and more parties on line. I saw this photo from Mari (side left) and I can't help but fall in love....I don't know why exactly I have this great interest in window since youth. Perhaps, I am an observer most of the time than an outgoing individual...I was a bit introvert when I was a kid, not that I don't play on the road with the youngster but I always prefer isolation and dream dreams...
   Ohh well, I can't do much with my new visual manuscript, I am reserving my energies for tomorrows special event. I can sense it would be a start for a better life ahead...I have this gut feel. Besides, tomorrow is Dr. Jose Rizal's 150th birth anniversary....June 18....a Saturday. 

ILLUMINATION 023 (Re-alignment)

There my eyes transfix again into a wall. I have to illuminate my vision and then perhaps reach Realizationism, the state by which an artwork became a definition. A defining state of a collective experiences. It has to be an art work on my case or it would not be a completed cycle. Correction, it must not be just another cycle but a spiral...a spiral going either outward or inward. 

   Re-aligning spiritual lenses will do the trick. A method that never fails.
   There are inter-sections in life. It will lead you anywhere you prefer...there is always a way BUT some path just ain't easy.  At this rate, of what I still consider as progression, I am doing an effort less than 10. Hoping on lesser enjoyment like seeing my kids go to school and hopefully received an education. When I say hoping for education it means retaining what you learn from your teacher. As I was saying, happiness can be describe on case to case basis. Simple dreams does not necessarily mean it is less complicated. Nah I better agree on myself once again, once and for all that I still have other greater vision. 
   Which way would be necessary or would truly give me the delightful smile in the end?

   I had been an employee for more than half of my life, some of them should have been scheduled for revolutionary activities like feeding program for street children or raising the  population of Tamaraws in the Philippines. Or this would be another blog for endangered species. 
   Probably I am having too much caffeine on my veins and having bouts of hallucinations. Just for this cause I feel like making another visual diary...I am wondering if I could go public with....journal with an intent to share. Oh yes I can do that. Give me the sign.

After Image, the public visual journal

The original intent of my visual journal are post-mortem analysis of my work and my life so meaning it should be concluded after death. Aside from my disambiguation it is my laboratory of self-evaluations so most of its parts are NOT FOR PUBLIC viewing. That would be keeping my agenda till the Lord decided to call me back. 

   The foremost reason why I am making this 8th visual journal is to let other people know what really is Realizationism in visual manuscript form. 

  

  Now if you want to understand what is a visual manuscript you can follow my blog The Art of Realizationism. 

click HERE to follow After Image

   ..

ILLUMINATION 022 (floating moments)

Speaking of memories last Illumination fragment was supposedly No. 022 but since I've already posted it I'll just let it be. Things happen because it has to happen, including mistakes and error. I can always apologized or beg your pardon. Can I do that? 

   I spend hours and hours trying and all I could produce is a ball pen sketch. The world is an interesting place and so I have plenty of subject to choose. But as I was about to take my painting materials, another idea poked me. 

   So another 3 to 4 hours was taken before I get back to my work area. I sit down, scanning my creative hard-drive for any new information that might come out....yet the loading process took longer than the usual phase. So, I just automatically pick a notebook and pen and try to record how I felt. What are you going to do this time? 

   I start with a question and it ended with another question. Are you sure you want this?

  That is how I get stuck and made the above picture...done in ball point pen. It was intended to be composed of letters and paragraphs and hopefully a blog to share somewhere but that is all I can say. This isn't the usual artist block...actually, as I step closer, I have many ideas floating on my head right at this moment...I want to do a painting about my recent state of health. No No No not about mental health...but about my eyes. Okay it is connected on my brain...

   I know it is not my vision...I can still clearly see detail with my glasses so I don't need new ones. That is, if the jolting on my head is not attacking. At times, my retina would need to work a little harder before it identify lines, texture, and shapes. 

  Back to my artwork to be....after I finish my sleep.

ILLUMINATION 021 (in memories)

Basking in a borrowed moment...the usual but essential element for illumination.

The day was easily sequestered by lapses and unconscious blinking and shaking.

Just a twitch of instances void of meaning-- at least in this quantum second.

I believed in collective sorting of tiny detail merging with giant strokes and pounding of chisel to sculpt imagery; turning into a revealing landscape with precious portrait of familiar people and places.

We pass this way but once.

Blurry images filing into chapters, and then chapters became a novel that if I conclude now would be an acceptance of surrender...or rather retirement to life. Life will evolve even if I no longer physically present. So what is the use of making memories?

Memories made us human or practically less animistic. Computers had memories but do they have emotional attachment to this loads of data once you delete them? How about dogs wagging its tail when it sees his masters, is it also an attachment to memories coupled with endearment? 

We are form from the image of GOD.

Without memories like cases of amnesia trapping our mind in a state of isolation, whether temporal or permanent you either go blank or wonder if I am still a man. Do we judge a man on his capacity to memorized numbers or recognized thousands of colors? 

Now, if I have these memories squeezed on my brain for let say, retaining them for another 10 years what would be the chances that I will still recognized my own face? Then as I stare on my own reflections discover a new line around my eyes...or if I could number my grey hair for that matter in exact order. Then we will admit, everything fades...even memories.

It is just a memory and soon it will be replaced with more recent memories.

150th Birth Anniversary of Jose Rizal

About a few years ago I had very limited knowledge about Dr. Jose Rizal as only the author of Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo; two great novel that led to his martyred death and precipitated the Philippine Revolution against Spanish Colonial Rule. I should be ashame, but thanks to a Chinese comedian who made fun of The Philippines by saying all we have to be proud of is Manny Pacquiao. That incident  became an eye opener. As a proud brown race I have to make my own comment. I have to educate the world that we are not just brawlers or children's of domestic helpers, we had great men and women who made special mark in world history...and one of these men is our very own National Hero who will be celebrating his birth date anniversary this month.  

   

   José Protasio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda was born on June 19, 1861. His father, Francisco Mercado Rizal, an industrious farmer whom Rizal called "a model of fathers," came from Biñan, Laguna; while his mother, Teodora Alonzo y Quintos, a highly cultured and accomplished woman whom Rizal called "loving and prudent mother," was born in Meisic, Sta. Cruz, Manila. 

The Execution of Rizal

   At the age of 3, he learned the alphabet from his mother; at 5, while learning to read and write, he already showed inclinations to be an artist. He astounded his family and relatives by his pencil drawings and sketches and by his moldings of clay. At the age 8, he wrote a Tagalog poem, "Sa Aking Mga Kabata," the theme of which revolves on the love of one’s language.
   He took graduate studies in Paris, France & Heidelberg, Germany. He also studied painting, sculpture, he learned to read and write in at least 22 languages.
   Rizal as we knew had many talent and skills...as a scientist he was able to discover new and rare species and among these are: 

• Draco Rizali—a flying dragon
• Apogonia Rizali -a small beetle
• Rhacophorus Rizali—a rare frog

   To elaborate more about the life and many attributes of Rizal would require an entire library so I will not be tackling that on this blog, if you want to learn more about this great man, who was even worship as Christ by Rizalista, you can visit the site provide below.
   His greatest contribution is offering his own life...Jose Rizal was executed via firing squad by the Spanish Government in Bagumbayan now Rizal Park.

In celebration of Rizal's Sesquicentennial Birth Anniversary, the City Government of Calamba is erecting a 22 ft (6.7 m). bronze statue (the world's tallest Rizal statue) in front of the 6.7 hectare Calamba City Hall complex. It will be unveiled on June 19, 2011 which is Rizal's 150th birthday.His Excellency Benigno Aquino III will unveil the monument.


To Learn more about Dr. Jose Rizal
http://www.slideshare.net/jenijeni/pi100-rizals-talents-and-skills
http://hubpages.com/hub/jose-rizal
http://www.philippines-life.com/jose-rizal-philippines.php