When I was Lost in Me

(Time for my illumination moment once again...)


I've checked my dashboard...and hit the statistics of my blogs. Nearly 16,000 views for this blog alone. Is that a fair number for a blog that had been running for two years? I'm not good at statistic but I am pretty sure that's not enough to earn me a best-seller award.

   Two years of pouring out myself to the world, to complete strangers whom I am not quite sure would be interested to learn anything from my life. A celebrity status was far from my mind, I can not handle that...I easily get tired within a crowd, even if my job requires me to be at the center of attention. I always find comfort in being alone. That's one of the reason also why I was misjudge to be a snob...and I embrace that illusion as self-defense to much needed space.
   Now, what made me think that there would be someone out there interested enough to read my life story? 

   Well, you see I was kinda introvert when I was a little boy. Kept only very few friends until high school...and I still can't solve the mysteries why I became a dancer then when there's too much butterflies in my stomach.  I just knew I survive a solo dance number of Michael Jackson's "Beat it" with nearly a thousand eyes watching.
The Novel of my Life
   I've just have a sudden realization this noontime while watching my two kids at play. You know it's a heavenly feeling for me to see Elijah (who just turn into teen this month) and Elyona Jean (6) cordially agreeing in one activity together. They sometimes act as if they did not come from the same womb. And so it is a bliss to see them enjoying the same activity...
   Anyway, I also saw the same similarity with me and my sister Gina before. Well, we used to ate at the same plate together even up until our College days but when it comes to almost anything, we argue a lot...Now that we are grown up and have children of our own...we are now experiencing the same headache my parent underwent on daily basis while we were kids. 
   The dirty rooms, soiled feet, haphazard toys on the floors, the shriek and turmoils...the who did these and that escape...the endless pointing...
   I've read somewhere that we are the continuation of our parent stories...as I am the continuation of my mother and father's hope and dreams, so as my children now is the extension of my biography...
   While absorbing the idle moment, from an on process personal lesson within this tranquil afternoon... I time travel back in forth from the past and future of my self. 
   Before, Elijah came out to this world...I made sure that he would begin his life in proper order. So, I made special attention on giving him the appropriate name which declares my faith.   His name came After reading Charles Swindoll's book "The Life and Times of Elijah" the book that introduce to me a special prophet who appeared during the darkest hour of Israel's ancient history. Honestly, the plan of his name was already conceived even before I met his mother. 
   Elijah means My God is the Lord. While Elyona would mean God's messenger. As I look at them now, like any normal boys and girls they love to explore things and often learn some of life's lesson the hard way. No matter how many time I told them the rules, the do's and don't...the follow this or else...they will still test your limit...or the boundaries where they can thread  of things if what I actually said were true. They may not take my opinion seriously for now...I knew they will come to realized one day, that their parent were actually correct. Life would have been much easier if we simply obey...
   Are we just natural risk-taker or plain dumb inquisitive? 
   The two polarities of my performing side was equally divided by my children, my son took the dancing side and my little daughter took the painting side. Well, my daughter dances too but I can tell when a hip can swing and not. The same way, that my son also draw...I can easily tell the brushstrokes are going nowhere. Yet again, the future is not ours to see.


A Poetry from My Art
   While I was in the middle of this illumination blog...one of my painting is given a special mention by Manisha Bathia...The work which she now called "Behind the Blue Eyes" which she said inspired her to compose a poem. What a coincidence and not intentional that I also give the title of this article with the same name of her Blog page. 
   You can check the poem with my artwork at When I was Lost in Me. Thank you so much Mani. 
and MORE...
   As if it's my lucky day, there is another special mention given to this blog by another dear friend, Andy David is giving away Follower of the month awards of sort in his blog and I was being mentioned for April Follower of the Month. You can check it here at Thoughts of Beauty... 
   Here it is...

Once again Thanks Sir Andy David

My Video pick for this blog:
Forgiveness...even if somebody hurt you. The courage to accept, that there are things that must come to an end. The Art of letting go....
Time heals wound...