I would avail for another illumination today. I feel so lost, empty and it all seems I have not achieved any. For the past day I was pushing my brain to paint...to create something. All I can do is hold the brush or open some pages of my visual manuscripts. Nothing came but silence. There are no worth for the moment...they are just passing scenes.
1 Corinthians 1:18-31
New International Reader's Version (NIRV)
Christ Is God's Power and Wisdom
18 The message of the cross seems foolish to those who are lost and dying. But it is God's power to us who are being saved. 19 It is written, "I will destroy the wisdom of those who are wise. I will do away with the cleverness of those who think they are so smart." —(Isaiah 29:14)
Trying my best also to sit down...talk to God and just be with Him...but other things robbed me. I just cant focus on anything. I was planning some diversion like have a quality time washing clothes. Now I have left them wet and maybe stinking. That I should pursue as urgent matters. I also try to cook sopas and sell them. My wife did the cooking...at 4AM...it's a little late for breakfast when it's done...pass 7AM so people had already gone to work and children ready for school and full. I had some art projects....
Returning to sleep around 8AM and there I have a vivid dream; so clear that each images and scenes still taunt me. Will I have these illuminations?
Now when will I lay down and have my intimate moment with God? So I can hear His voice...I have to stay still and worry not on trivial things. Actually there are No trivial things that must bother me. The accuser which is Satan trying to deceived me that I am a loser...I am Not...I am extra special in God's sight.
Chance is the pseudonym God uses when
he doesn't want to sign His name. -- Anatole France.
This and all these are my little argument with myself. Time is so precious that I have the tendency to let it happen. Just a passing scene. What I would be painting this time? I took some images from my browsing and soon will have the time to begin. I must and should begin. Wait! I still have clothes to wash...If it is affecting you then it is you.
Subscribing to an BibleGateway.com for newsletter that will cure me perhaps. And by the way, what happen to my free magazines at GNmagazines? They just stop sending.
Life is a process. A process for what? That I will seek...I think I have found it somewhere back in time. The answer to my many question is just in The Holy Bible.
(If you had gone this far reading this blog...and get confused to the pointless argument I am writing here...just never mind all blogs with Illumination label. This is for my own personal reflection...almost similar to my Visual Journal)
Since no one is reading my blog...I think I better read it myself. Perhaps I will learn also the wisdom of a fool.